I've been all mopey the last two days my men being away having fun without me, being stuck at work with nothing to do, and feeling insecure in general. And I got to thinking: if I were a angst-ridden teen goth, what would I do with all those messed up feelings? Well, first, I'd start a blog on LiveJournal, then I'd write poetry. Lots and lots of overly dramatic, depressing poetry. You know: puppies dying. The world coming to a bloody, violent end. That kind of stuff. I'm never quite sure how your best friend saying she thought your shoes looked like something from the retard factory equates to suicidal rants, but who I am I to judge? Instead I'll give it a try. Maybe those angsty teens know something I don't...
Black is the color of my soul. It slowly swirls into a vortex of depression that whispers my name in mocking tones. Loneliness is the only comfort I find. Abandonment is my only reprieve from the oppression of those who claim to love. I lie back to let this dark world run it's rough hands over my body as it rips my innocence from me. I vow not to shed a tear as I wait for my final breath to release me from this prison.
Hm. So on one hand I find the drama of it therapeutic in a "omg, I need to get a life" sort of way. On the other hand... damn that's depressing shit. I think I'll stick to my sugar addiction. It's a much more fun way to do self-therapy.
| July 31, 2008 08:45am | 
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| July 30, 2008 10:35pm | 
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With my ultra-light work schedule you'd think it'd be hard to find things to complain about, but I have a particular talent for finding the single gray cloud on an otherwise sunny day...
Mike and Michael are off to Guerneville today for the Lazy Bear event. I was supposed to head up with them, but the one time this job feels the need for me to actually be present is this week. Auditors are here to tell us everything we did wrong for 2nd quarter. Last time around they didn't ask a single thing from me and so far they've asked nothing this time around either. Still I have to dutifully sit here in the office on the off chance that they might need something.
I'm accomplishing the light bit of work I have, putzing around in the internet, burning cds, and doing other things to pass the time in the office when I could be enjoying naked pool time with throngs of fat, hairy men. I'm trying not to be bitter. Ok, I'm not trying all that hard.
I'm hoping to head up to Lazy Bear tomorrow night after work (assuming the auditors don't decide to drag things out another day). Meanwhile I'm bored and lonely. Does anyone want to play rock, paper, scissors?
| July 30, 2008 01:12pm |
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| July 25, 2008 06:36am |
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My workload has been very light at work as we all just wait for a final deal to be struck and our company to be bought out from underneath us. While that instability and lack of any real purpose is stressful, the flexibility perks of current work life are damned impressive. For example: I now "work" from home two of my four days a week. I still get paid my full salary, but can pass part of that time at home accomplishing the minimal amount of work I have to get done. It saves me time and money. Plus the dress code at home is much less, shall we say, cumbersome. It's a nice perk and I'm going to take advantage of it in the next couple of months I'm still at this job.
| July 23, 2008 08:03am | 
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Had I not been stuck at home with an annoying sinus cold this is the fun I would have had yesterday:
That's the day I would have liked to have had yesterday. Instead I was at home alone all day/night. At least the only thing I missed today was a casual dinner with friends next door. My hopes for tomorrow is to not miss a thing. Here's hoping.
| July 19, 2008 09:31pm |
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This rusted out truck was sitting in the yard of a great garden store on our way to Crater Lake National Park in Oregon. While Michael perused the plants I perused the rust.
| July 18, 2008 11:55pm |
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I just found out that a guy who lives in Turkey (from a very religious Kurd family), an acquaintance of Mike & Michael, someone I've met briefly... was shot by his family for being gay. The sadness of his death is compounded by the horror of the circumstances. I can't even fathom a culture where that is the response to something you don't like or are afraid of. My world is so safe in comparison. I mourn for this man and for a world in which that kind of fear can exist.
| July 17, 2008 09:26am |
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We had our second wave of layoffs today. I'm part of a skeleton crew keeping things afloat until we're bought out which is likely 2-6 months away. It's been odd around here lately anyway, but now it's just surreal and sad. I'm generally glad I'm still on board this sinking ship, but secretly envy those who knew 2 months ago that today was the day. I hate not knowing when I'll finally, inevitably be out of work again. I'm now 1 of 15. Resistance is futile.
| July 15, 2008 03:51pm |
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I'm back from our 10 day road trip. The Oregon coast was beautiful. My favorite part was probably Cape Perpetua Scenic Area. Wandering the tide pools, treking across the rocks and exploring the Devil's Churn.
It was awesome seeing so much of Oregon, though I'm so glad to not be packing our bags and driving everyday. Next time around I'm landing in one place for awhile and letting someone bring all the beauty to me (in a glass with a tiny pink umbrella).
| July 12, 2008 08:28am |
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The story thusfar of the illustrious trio's road trip adventures:
| July 7, 2008 11:26pm |
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Mike, Michael and I are hitting the road tonight for a week and a half road trip through Oregon. Redding, Steamboat, Portland for two nights, Columbia River Gorge, Astoria then making our way leisurely down the coast. I'm so excited both to see Oregon for the first time and to have all that time away with my men.
For my time away from work the director of finance told me to take two comp days for "all the work" I did closing 1st quarter finances. She also told me to go ahead and take two more comp days in advance of the upcoming work to close 2nd quarter finances.
I guess always leaving the office early and putzing away on personal projects while at work warrants some comp time. Who knew? Maybe if I stop coming to work all together I'll earn even more. The fact that she is clueless about my lack of workload will not stop me from taking her up on her very generous offer.
Since I work four day weeks, those undeserved comp days cover all of my time away next week. My company gives two days for the July 4th holiday which covers the one day I'll be missing this week and still leaves me an extra comp day to take at some other time. That's right. Not only do I not have to use any PTO for my 10 day trip, but I'm actually getting a bonus day off out of the deal. The insanity of boring, direction-less job sure does pay off sometimes.
| July 2, 2008 12:43pm |
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You'd think with all this free time at work I would have had my art portfolio site up and ready ages ago. Beyond a hearty dose of procrastination, I keep running into coding issues that I've been clueless to figure out. I know just enough html and css to actually think I can put together a site. I know just too little html and css to do all the fancy gadgety/formating things that my artistic self finds mandatory to the success of the project (being able to flip through virtual polaroids of yours truly is mandatory afterall). Valette and Steve have been throwing me life lines as I need them and I think I may have passed all of the hurdles. After 3 years of good intentions my art portfolio is finally online. Now I can begin the process of procrastinating the oh-so-fun gallery self-promotion game.
Let me know what you think:
| July 1, 2008 09:31am |
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