August 2007

Offensive Behavior

Someone just called me nice. "Really nice" in fact. Am I wrong to be offended by that? I mean, I have a reputation to uphold as an edgy, sarcastic guy who doesn't let anything or anyone get in his way. Cuz, you know, I'm so edgy and shit. I'm downright abrasive sometimes. Well, ok, I *could* be downright abrasive if I wanted to and then... watch out! Cuz, I'm a bad-ass and you don't want to get in my way. And... um... just cuz I've been all like "I love my life" lately doesn't mean that there isn't still sarcasm at the very blackened core of my soul. Yep. I'm jaded and bitter as hell. I'm a raging time bomb of fury warping the minds of your helpless offspring with my corrupt and not-so-nice ways!! <insert heavy metal scream here>

Demi-Century Greetings

In a week and a half Michael, Mike and I are throwing the birthday party of the demi-century. Two lush adjoining gardens, tie-dyed canopy sashes, enough candles to light a small city, well hung lanterns, strings of lights, secret seating areas, a hosted bar, DJ'd music, lots of food, party favors and tons of friends and family. There will also be a few special "enchantments" throughout the evening (in other words, surprises which the birthday boy can't know about until they actually happen, so stop willing me to slip up and tell you!). We have a few minor things still to work out like - I don't know - food for 60+ people, but overall I'd say it's coming together grandly. It's been fun to plan and hopefully it'll be even more fun to experience. Wanna come?

I Dyed

I spent all weekend dyeing. The whole dyeing routine took several weeks to complete. It was a long, painful and messy process, but I've successfully dyed and am happy with the results. I dyed in shades of turquoise, bright green, goldenrod, raspberry, midnight blue and blood orange (I dyed very colorfully). Once my dyeing is hung for all to see, I'll post pics. Meanwhile, you'll have to imagine my dyeing and think happy thoughts.

365 Days of Fun

Even before Valette arrived it was pretty obvious to me that she was not coming to see me, but rather get in her year's worth of fun and adventure before returning to Alaska. My role was to help her facilitate packing 365 days worth of fun into a 5 day period tied with a pretty gold bow. I'd say we did a pretty good job.

Valette's visit in 50 words or less:
Marathon, cram-it-all-in days of touristy fun including screaming and swearing at high velocities, sand in my shorts, driving for miles to see an aquatic lobby, eccentricity architectualized, endless maze of shopping, big hats, fattening treats and overall exhaustion.

Beach Blanket Babylon

Valette, Steve and I saw Beach Blanket Babylon last night where every number was like an over-costumed musical finale of blissful hilarity. Some great vocalizations, impersonations and adept comedic timing kept me fully engaged in spite of my earlier desire to have napped the day away. I had heard the show was good, but was skeptical. I even tried to be too good for the show, but it didn't stick. I'm so glad I finally got to see it. It was a great way to enjoy Valette's last night here and following the show up with pizza and gelato made the evening darn near perfect.

Forced Fun

I'm doing pretty well after Thursday's 'nothing to report.' <insert dance of a thousand joys here> Adding to that good news: my annoying little sister is coming for a visit today. She's forcing me to see all these shows and go on all these rides and hang out with her and laugh and have fun and shit. What a bore that will be. At least she's bringing along her boyfriend to keep it interesting.

Nothing At All

It's tough to know what to blog about when what's going on in my life really isn't blog material. Not that it's not interesting and gossip-inducing or anything, but it's just not the sort of thing you schlep out there for the whole world (all 3 of you) to read.

I mean, it's not like I had a "minor" surgery a few months ago followed by a less than minor - and quite unsuccessful - recovery period which has spiraled me into having another minor procedure later this afternoon. And it's not like there's been minor blood and pain for over 4 months now or like I'm freaking about more poking and prodding today. I mean, if it were something that annoying, gruesome and long-lasting I definitely would have told you before now, right? Right? <cough>

So, yeah. I don't really have anything to blog about. Carry on.

Maritess vs. The Superfriends

Maritess confesses that the Superfriends aren't what they seem.

Multi-Tasking Is Hazardous to Your Health

Ok, I admit it. I'm a chronic multi-tasker. I'm obsessed with doing at least 4 things at once. And that's on a lazy day. Last night I cooked a teriyaki chicken stir-fry while checking e-mail, listening to an audio book and unpacking from my weekend. While I waited for the oiled pan to heat up I stepped into the other room to finish reading an e-mail. In the mere moments I was away, the pan decided to turn into a pot of flaming death. Fortunately I had just purchased a small sack of flour (the first flour I've owned in over a year). In a comedic routine of sheer panic I tore at the sack of flour until it exploded into the raging fire. With the flame extinguished I stood in clouds of smoke, covered in flour, wondering if the blackened pan would ever be usable again. I guess this should be a lesson to me: multi-tasking kills. Just say no.

Sound the Retreat

I'm back from my grueling 5 days of cushy gay boy camping. I got lots of sun and a relaxing time away with Michael and Mike. The nearly 13,000 bears who overtook the tiny town of Guerneville for the week was overwhelming to put it mildly and as such I didn't spend nearly as much time at the pool parties, bonfires or dances as I would have liked. Fortunately our camp was quiet and relaxing which made for a great retreat from the chaos. All in all, it turned out to be a great time away though crawling into a real bed last night made me fall in love with mattresses all over again.

Rufie Darling

I was offered a free ticket to see Rufus Wainwright in concert tomorrow night. I turned it down. A lot of my friends would think I'm insane. I prefer to think of it as intellectually challenged.