February 2007

Sanity Comes From Within

I am completely sane. Or at least that's what the voices in my head keep telling me.

Sun Soaked

Think Smart Thoughts

When you're dumber than a box of rocks there's nowhere to go but up.

Lord Makalotamoolah

This 2nd job and it's constantly shifting "OMG NOW *THIS* IS TOP PRIORITY" routine is starting to make Damon one very grumpy boy. I need to tap into my inner money whore and remember how much I'm getting paid for this pleasure. Anyone know any rain dances to invoke the god of greed? No? How about chants to magically produce high quantities of Valium?

Learning to Love Oneself

The ultimate in narcissism is walking around a place checking out the guys, coming around a corner and thinking "I'd do him" before suddenly realizing you're looking into a mirror.

Does it make it any better that the lighting was really, really low? Like almost pitch black. And, um, foggy. And the mirror was dirty. Yeah, dirty...

Did I mention it was dark?

A Picture of Hope

Friend: "You're in your drama decade."
Me: "What?"

Friend: "Your drama decade."
Me: "Um... okay."

Friend: "My thirties were full of drama. And you're only half way through."

And They Flew

"Come to the edge, He said. They said, We are afraid. Come to the edge, He said. They came. He pushed them... and they flew."
- Guillaume Apollinaire

Ice Fog Kills

It's been beautiful weather here. Sunny and warm. I'm recalling the month of February when I used to live in Fairbanks. I'm recalling 30 below temperatures and ice fog. I recall such things, think about my present circumstances... and cackled uncontrollably.

All Play and No Work

Today I only work one job. I don't even teach the 2 piano students that I'd normal teach on Thursday nights. I'm taking Friday off and have Monday off for the holiday. I'll be home by 4pm today and then free till Tuesday. Not only that but it's a bear filled weekend for me filled with dancing, flirting, groping and more dancing. I'm sitting here like a kid waiting for Christmas to start. Now who's package am I going to unwrap first?

Gimme VD Already

I started my day thinking, "I'll just ignore Valentines Day. No reason to obsess about it either way. I'll just let the day go by like any other so my hopelessly romantic self doesn't focus on the fact I can't do the snuggly romantic thing with whom I'd like." Great plan. Brilliant plan in fact. It's just a day. Nothing to worry about.

Enter the rest of the world...

I completely neglected to take into account the incessant barrage of plasticized "HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!!!!!!" greetings from everyone, their dog and their dog's fleas (I did get one of the flea's phone numbers... woof).

So, fine, happy day of love and romance and candy and whips and chains. Well, maybe not so much with the last two, but if you're into that, happy day of that too. Me? I'm pouring my gushing passion into my two lovely jobs. Maybe tonight I'll get lucky and get off early. Yes, I said "lucky" and "get off." It was an innuendo. Try to keep up.

Happy day. May VD burn within your loins.

Patina Frosting

I'll Take Peace However I Can Get It

"So, I'm likely still heading down the road to disaster but at least I feel a peaceful sense of delusion about it all."

10,080 Minutes

I made it through almost an entire week of "I'm fine and empowered and shit" before the oh so fun "damn what's good for my emotional health, I don't want to live without them" whining kicked in. That's almost an entire week people. And people say I'm too emotionally wishy-washy. Pffft.

Thrash Till You Crash

So, um, the problem with having mostly older gay male friends: they like older gay male stuff. You know like elaborate musicals, political satire, the color pink... and 34 year old Alaskan "boys" (at least they have a *little* taste). They also seem to like Bette Midler, Judy Garland and the great jazz classics from the 20s and 30s. That's all fine and good and high cultured and crap, but sometimes, just sometimes, a guy might want something a little more fun and recklessly youthful. Of course when "a guy" decides he's going to find just that... he ends up going by himself. *sigh* Here's hoping I find some great new thrash buddies at the concert tonight.

Pace Yourself Young One

Well, I guess my greedy ways have served me well since I made it through my long day yesterday with flying colors (and even worked an extra hour at the 2nd job). Today, I have the same schedule. These long days will only be twice a week so I think I can sustain for the month or so that I'll be doing it.

Captain Moolah

Today is the day I discover if I'm really the money whore I aspire to be: 8 hrs at my regular job then 4 hours at this side consulting job.

Will our hero find the beloved money motivation to make it through the day? Tune in next time to find out.

Love Lost

With deep love comes the potential for deep pain. Intense joy carries with it the possibility for intense sorrow. Do I choose to avoid the fullest depth of love for fear of it's counterpart? I hope I never get to the place where I stop allowing myself to fully and richly experience life, love and relationships. I'm thankful for the love I felt. I'm thankful for the joy it brought. I am moved to great depths of sorrow that those things can no longer be realized. I look forward to the next opportunity I have to experience them again. If you're reading this... I will love you always.

Haunted

It's Not Multiple Choice

"Do these pants make me look fat?" There's only one answer to that question. Whether it's a lie or the truth, the answer is always "no" or if you're really good: "if you ask me, those pants are lucky to have the priviledge of touching your beautiful body."

It Burns, It Burns!

I did a photoshoot recently with an artist friend of mine playing with extreme lighting contrasts. While I love those extremes, it's very difficult to keep the image focused and to make sure not to cross the line into overexposed areas that look like someone took whiteout to the final product. Ah, I still have so much to learn.

This shoot contains full nudity and is not safe for work:

Feed My Starving Ego

I started my consulting job today. Damn are they in desperate need of help. Like my out of control savior complex needs any more bolstering. They are only a month behind on all accounts payable, changing their entire accounting system (but don't even know how to print checks in the new system), and preparing for an audit next week. The fact that I get to sweep in, do some work, then leave again... kinda alleviates the stress issue. Oh, that, and them paying me ridiculous amounts of money to write stuff in my blog. *cough*

The Mikes

The Mikes were gullible enough to let me take photos of them on the beach up in Sea Ranch. At least in this photo they were bundled up...

Money Whore

The new job is going well in spite of the blaring lack of micromanaging or supervisory drama so far (what's with that?). In addition to that income-oriented success, I'll be consulting around 20hrs/wk at another biotech for the next month helping with accounts payable making crazy amounts of money. Which, naturally, makes me crazy amounts of happy. I'll be putting in 50+ hour work weeks for a little while, but I think it'll be worth it. And... for some crazy reason I seem to have complete control how many hours I work at each place so not only will I be filthy rich, but I'll also have absolute power. My purpose on this earth is now complete. I might take a short break before heading off to my next conquest.