November 2006

Answer Unclear, Try Again

I'm sitting at my place in San Francisco preparing for another intake with an employment agency while I consider an almost certain job offer for a part-time job that'll bring in more than I was making at my full-time job in Tracy (and this job would increase to full-time in the next couple months). Its A/P and purchasing so not my ideal field of work and its at least a 40 minute commute each way. Still... the level of income and the fact that I could have something right away is rather appealing. What to do, what to do? Where's my Magic 8 Ball when I need it?

Notice

I turned in two weeks notice at my job on Wednesday cuz I'm moving to the big city (San Francisco). After so many years of longing for city life I'm going to finally get my fill. I have an apartment in the Castro and will be doing temp work until something permanent comes through. There's a mix of anxiety, excitment and relief. Its the right thing for me right now and I glad to be making it happen.

Don't Cry for Me Argentina

People seem to be sad to hear about the adventures I've taken that haven't worked out the way I'd hoped. I'm sad too, but not sad to have taken the adventure. I don't get to dictate where these fun adventures lead me. I just get to decide to go for the ride or not. I'm glad I've taken the many rides I have in my life, particularly in the last few years.

I'm so thankful for the incredibly growing, sharing, laughing, crying years that Dana and I had. I'm thankful for the opportunity to know, love and learn from Curt. I'm thankful for my experiences and talents; for my family and the amazing amount of love and support they've shown me as I explore each new adventure (whether they understand them or not). I'm thankful for the great friends I've made here in California and the friends that have remained throughout the years.

All in all, I live a great and incredibly blessed life. Its not perfect and it certainly involves its share of loss, pain and sorrow. But its a good life and I'm thankful to be living it.

Thank Me For Looking Pretty

I'm heading to Alameda for Thanksgiving tomorrow. Mike and Michael are having a bunch of friends over for a feast-o-plenty. I still haven't decided what I'm going to bring. Do I make my favorite white trash Green Jello Salad? Do I try to whip up some fabulous appetizer? Or do I simply buy a bag of Ruffles and pull the "I'm a poor bachelor" card? I mean, isn't looking pretty contribution enough?!?

The Short Bus

Mike, Michael, Michael and myself (cuz, I like to stand out in a crowd) went to see The Short Bus on Sunday. Definitely not for the faint of heart. More likely for the faint of morals. I'm not going to give some grand review of the film, its merits, its choice to overload the viewer with extremely explicit sexual acts, or how the acting could have been better in that final orgasm scene. I really enjoyed it. So unique. I can't even say what the purpose of the movie was, but it was very thought provoking. It certainly spoke to personal and social issues much deeper than the surface value of what was happening on the screen. I'm glad I saw it.

Reality Check

I've been playing piano for an upcoming musical. Its a fun show and a good cast. Still, rehearsals have been very difficult for me. With my as yet undiagnosed medical stuff all this piano playing brings a lot of pain, exhaustion and difficulty sleeping. Besides that, the muscle tightness and limited practice ability means I really just can't play the score very well. And this is all in spite of the fact that I'm on pain meds, muscle relaxants, anti-inflammatories, in physical therapy and essentially bathing in Ben Gay.

So I sit through rehearsal in significant pain, feeling like crap because I'm sucking at playing the score. Saturday I had to sit and play for 5 hours. I was near tears by the time I was finished and wasn't sure how I would make it through the rest of the show.

Before Sundays 5 hour rehearsal the music director was sitting and playing through some of the songs for the singers and playing much better than I could. I asked if it was too hopeful to think that he was going to take over the playing and put me out of my misery. That opened up a discussion about my pain issues (some of which he already knew). Essentially it led to him very generously letting me out of my obligation to play the show.

I left as they were starting rehearsal feeling a tremendous sense of relief. As the day wore on I also began to feel sadness. Sad that my condition is so bad that I can't get through a piano gig. Sad to lose the opportunity to play in this show. Sad that I wasn't able to follow through with my commitment. Still, the feeling of relief is there and even a hope that I might be able to get this condition under control now that I'm not aggrevating it with so much playing.

For Your Lady Friend

Wash your ass. Not safe for anyone who, well, doesn't have a twisted sense of humor.

With a Side of Cheese

My body is all achey. The kind of ache when you have a flu or when you have that lactic acid response after an intense workout or when you fall into a vat of ache-all-over serum. It makes me the king of the grump parade. I'm not sure if this amusing little scenario is due to physical therapy, rehearsals, some alien flu that doesn't involve any other symptoms, or just the change in seasons here. Whatever the cause I'm feeling oh so incredibly whiney and thought I'd share. Cuz, you know, I'm thoughtful like that.

Made in Heaven

So if a friend tells me that a love interest is like the alcohol and I'm the alcoholic... that means its a perfect match right? Essential my friend's telling me "proceed with reckless abandon," right? Right?

Grow Babies Grow

I've been in physical therapy for about 3 weeks now to help with the myo-tendon-alga-lup-itis, or whatever the diagnosis of the day happens to say my shoulder/upperback pain is. I seem to be experiencing some benefit from it which is really encouraging. I'm really eager to see how I feel when I'm not playing as much piano as I am now for the this musical. And one rather nice side effect from all this physical therapy... muscles. Yep. I've grown myself a few baby muscles in my shoulders/arms. See those? No really... Look closer.

Dancing Fame

Here's the scandalous missing Folsom Street Fair footage that Valette was hoping I'd lost.