September 2006

Edge of the World

Taken with my wide angle lens on the coast in Sonoma County.

Atlantean

Below is one of the results of a recent photoshoot with my friend Shawn. Beneath me was the very slippery rock (a.k.a. The Damon Launcher) on which I gashed my hand when a particularly angry wave sent me soaring. And without further ado, here is me trying to maintain a serene expression while gallons of freezing cold salt water is being shot up my ass at high velocity.

Positive Energy: Here's Your Invitation

In spite of the fact that the job in San Francisco for which I was "a shoe in" has fallen through, I will not despair. Even though I will not be licking dollar bills of large denominations every night before I go to sleep, I will remain positive. And while I won't be moving into the big city in the coming weeks, I choose to find joy in the place I live.

And if that load of bull didn't convince you, here are a couple of Feng Shui inspired statements to invite positive energy into my life:

Life in Tracy offers fulfillment and peace.
I'm thankful for the present job I have and the flexibility that comes with it.
I will thrive with the friendships and career connections I've made in this area.
I will focus my energies on the things that bring fullfillment and further my artistic aspirations.
And I'll take sympathy donations of lickable 20, 50, and 100 dollar bills.

Pre-emptive Strike

Alright, I've finally sent home that annoying sister who plagued my week with interesting conversation, art galleries, roller coasters, sexy street fairs and lots of excuses to be out of work exploring San Francisco. <whew> What a relief to have that over with. And just so you know, I didn't leave my sister to fend for herself for over 3 hours at the big, bad San Francisco airport. Cuz, I'd never do that. And in spite of photographic evidence to the contrary, I did in fact wear clothing at the street fair. Lots and lots of clothing. Yep.

Come Over to the Dark Side

Wild, mad craziness. Yep. That's been Valette's visit so far. Jam packed fun filled with things like eating, talking for hours on end, shopping, sleeping and the obligatory heading to work while I leave my sister to fend for herself in the big city of Tracy.

This afternoon we head into San Francisco for more zany fun of the tourist, artistic, child-like, and sexual debauchery sort. My goal: taint what little innocence is left in her soul (and believe, there's not much left to taint).

Pec-a-Licious

Below are the photos from a shoot I did a few weeks ago. Oddly enough the lack of facial expression didn't affect these photos in the least. Hm. Not safe for work.

keep reading...

Take It All Off

Undress her with more than just your eyes...

I Knew That

Valette arrives tomorrow morning for a week of fun, mayhem and other such words to make you jealous of the outrageously good time we'll have. And I just want to point out that she doesn't arrive today, but tomorrow. Cuz, well, today is the 18th and tomorrow is the 19th. And she definitely doesn't arrive on the 18th, even though that's when she leaves. Just, because, you might have been confused. In completely and totally unrelated news... I have today off work and am putzing around San Francisco with nothing to do. Coffee anyone?

Black Sands Beach Photoshoot

Here are a few of the photos from this past Sunday's photoshoot. Tastefully unsafe for work.

FOAK This

Fraternal Order of Ass Kickers (FOAK)
"Got ass? We got the boot to fit it."

Dirty Boy

This guy has gone just a small step past "Wash me" on the back of dirty cars...

Friendship Prayer

"May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who screws up your day and may their arms be too short to scratch. Amen."

// my personal research assistant: Becky //

Salty

A couple weeks ago I took photo shoot at San Gregorio Beach, about an hour south of San Francisco. We found a great cave to shoot in and around. The model was great to work with, adding to the inspiration as we went along. The seaweed... entirely his idea (I'm not that much of a sadist). He also just had this peaceful aura to him which came across in a lot of the photos. Overall, I was really pleased with the shoot. Below are a few of my favorites. By the way, this is probably not safe for work unless showing a little ass is encouraged at your office (and if that's the case... when do I start?).

keep reading...

Wet Dreams

I spent a few hours at the beach yesterday. It wasn't sunny or overly warm, but it was so fun to play in the ocean. Sure, I got a minor flesh wound from being thrown from a slippery rock by a virtual tidal wave, but it was well worth the ocean therapy of the day. I'm eager to live closer to the sea once again. And... I think that may happen sooner rather than later. I'll keep you posted.

From a Professional Bitch

I rode on the back of a Harley
again today. And now that I've ridden "bitch" twice, I'm pretty sure that makes me a bonified expert. So I figured I'd give all you rookies a few tips for the road.

The first and most important rule: accessorize. Anything in leather would be appropriate. Denim also works well. On your third ride, I'd recommend leaving the fishnet t-shirt and faux-fur wrist bands at home.

And to help you know what to expect on your ride... once you come to a stop after riding at 60 miles an hours, it will feel like caterpillars are crawling all around your eyes. This, of course, is a well known fact amoung we biker bitches, but oddly unknown to the lesser mortals.

Finally, while the thought of straddling a large vibrating machine for extended periods sounds like a really appealing prospect, the whole numb ass syndrome doesn't quite live up to the hype.

Sizing Me Up

She wanted me. I could tell just by the way she looked at me. She even introduced me to the woman next door who seemed to want me as well. I was getting the impression that I was going to get involved in some intense team play. And she said the next time we meet, she wants to bring in more people from the building. This was starting to get more and more exciting. Hopefully when I've finished impressing them with my interfacing abilities, they'll actually offer me the position and all this interviewing will pay off.

When Friends Try to Be Helpful

For an Executive Assistant position in the biotech company at which my friend Michael works...

Me: "What should I wear to the interview?"

Michael: "Spandex shorts and a tank top, preferably something with a rainbow flag design."

Cabs Gone Wild

There really isn't anything like cramming five grown men into a cab. Nor is there anything like being the one who has to lay across the laps of three of those men so the cops don't pull us over for having more people than we had seat belts. And I thought my wild college days were behind me...

Gropeless in Seattle

Last night at an amazing dance event I think I discovered the solution to the whole groping issue. Rather than trying to unleash my aura of raw, sex appeal to a whole crowd of people, I need to Think Globally, Flirt Locally. This magical mantra should save me from many a gropeless night.

Like, Really?

Me: "When I visited San Diego, I really liked it, but the energy of the place just didn't draw me in...

"My accupuncturist said that I really needed to let go of the emotional baggage that is blocking my chi...

"And then, when I did my guided self-hypnosis, I was really able to travel back and help my younger self process the pain that came from those events..."

Michael: "... You're more Californian than anyone I know."

When Queers Write Lyrics

Cuz you're filthy
Oooh, and I'm gorgeous
Cuz you're filthy
Oooh, and I'm gorgeous
You're disgusting
Oooh, and you're nasty
And you can grab me
Oooh cuz you're nasty
- Filthy/Gorgeous by Scissor Sisters

Looks like an average weekend to me...