July 2005

Sentiment

"Some people are like Slinkies. They're really not good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."

Prince William Sound Cruise

Last week, while in Anchorage, George and I took a six hour cruise through the Prince William Sound. The entire day was picture perfect: sunny, warm, calm seas, and clear skies. This was the last hoorah for George as he moved to Ohio this week and a near last hoorah for me as I leave this glorious state in a mere two weeks. There are tons of pictures to rub your noses in the fact that I got to experience such a gorgeous day on the water in an amazingly beautiful state.

My Best Friend is a Sock Puppet

Two weeks from today I'll be jumping on a plane to head down to my new home in Tracy. That's a mere 14 days of final lunches/dinners with friends, wrapping up things at my two jobs (whose brilliant idea was it to take on an extra job?), designing several logo drafts and finalizing a logo for a local business, packing all my worldly possessions (as opposed to the ethereal possessions which fortunately need no packing), playing one last gig in Homer, getting a job or at least a job plan in the San Francisco Bay area, and trying not to go completely insane. The upside? In 14 days it'll be over and I'll be living my new life. Look out Curt: I'm coming to California, but make no guarantees about my sanity by the time I get there. They do have mental wards in Tracy right?

Reporting In

I'm back from my quick trip to San Francisco. I think my interview went well, but couldn't read how the committee felt about it. I interviewed with the eight person staff in the department in which I'd be working. It was a bit of on awkward interview though I think I handled it fairly well. I definitely felt like a little fish in a big sea. I can most certainly do the job, but haven't done anything at this level before so I don't necessarily have the experience to prove it. They will make a decision by the end of the week so hopefully I'll know something by Monday.

Pursuing Possibilities

This past Tuesday I e-mailed a resume for a graphic designer position at a large arts organization in San Francisco. Within a few hours I received a call and had a phone interview scheduled on Thursday. That went really well and I'll be down there this Tuesday for a second interview in person. If they know what's good for them they'll offer me the job on Wednesday. Here's hoping they know what's good for them.

A Year's Supply of Pringles

It's been well over a year since I've eaten Pringles - a former love affair - because they make my gastrointestinal community beg for the mercy of being ripping from my body without anesthesia. Still, seeing the subject line, "a year's supply of Pringles" in a spam e-mail made me salivate with gluttonous abandon. In a miraculous feat of courage, I was able to resist the urge to open up the e-mail. I'm still regretting that decision...

In the Anal Sense?

When researching ending my cell service in Alaska I was told I needed to call the "Retention Services Department." With a name like that, me thinks it's not going to be as easy as telling them I'm through. By the very definition of the department's name I can most certainly expect many a sales pitch before they actually do what I ask. I'm so looking forward to this call...

Homer-ese

"I'm sleepy. I just didn't want you to think I'm stoned."

Ah, the things that must be clarified in a town like Homer (otherwise known at the pot capital of Alaska).

Share the Love

You know how grade school boys show girls how much they love them by beating the crap out of them? Let's just say that when framed in that perspective I'm feeling so incredibly loved at work since I told them I was leaving.

All My Bags are Packed, I'm Ready to Go

On August 12th I'll be making the journey back to Tracy, CA (of the ever famous Dry Bean Festival). The little difference about this trip is that I won't be leaving again. That's right. I'm going to stop talking about moving out of Alaska and am finally going to make it happen.

Life in the east San Francisco Bay area offers more than stores, restaurants, warm weather, a plethora of artistic opportunities, access to a lot of different cities and, yes, even more than dry beans (as if that weren't enough). I'm moving for <cue sappy music> beauty, truth and love!!! Ok, well I'm not really quite that bohemian, but I am moving for love. Well, love and a great step in this next chapter of my life. Curt's already on the ball with plans to get me connected into the arts communities in that area - accompanying, teaching, solo gallery shows, graphic design, etc.

This past year in Homer has been a sort of limbo for me as I knew it was a temporary place for me. I'm excited to be able to fully sink my teeth back into life, friends and career goals. Beyond a kick ass administrative job, Curt's an actor and musician. We'll be performing together in a cabaret he'll be doing toward the first of next year which will be a lot of fun. Beyond those kinds of things to look forward to I'll get to see if I'm truly the big city, warm climate boy that I really think I am. Just the thought of going to a theatre show that's more than a 3 person (including actors and crew) production in a run down warehouse already has me giddy as a school girl.

It'll be a grand adventure which will likely inspire lots of "what the freak am I doing?!" sort of moments. It's a risk that's worth taking and an adventure that's worth experiencing. And the fuel for blog posts should be out of this world.

Table for One

NEW DISCLAIMER: The following is an amusing short story I wrote which contains some pretty extreme sexual references. If you are not comfortable with such things, just move on to the next post. I'm posting this story because it's funny and I think it's really well written, but I realize that it isn't a topic that's comfortable for everyone. I apologize to anyone who might have read this yesterday when the disclaimer was much more vague. Party on.

keep reading...

Media Whore

I'm in the presence of greatness. Let's all take a moment for the appropriate reverent silence...

And to think I changed her nasty, disgusting diapers when she was little.

What a Strong Little Lad

My godson, Mario, is 6 years old. Like any healthy little boy he gets the occasional erection. Whenever he gets one he goes to his mom, raises a clenched fist and loudly declares, "my penis is strong!!"

Bringing Home the Bacon

Before starting my regular job this morning I went in and worked for two hours at the newspaper. It was to be a time of orientation with the production person, but that took all of 5 minutes at which point I set to work designing ads. I go back after work tonight for another hour or two. It was fun to be back in the graphic design mode for a bit. Of course, I'm thinking about mid afternoon I'll turn into a sniveling, sobbing mess as I realize that my regular 8 hour day has been extended to a 11-12 hour cycle of madness. Welcome to my world.

Nutritional Advice

Man should not live on energy bars alone. And if man decides to ignore this ever-so-basic principle, man should expect to have the most wicked, god awful gas. The kind which causes little children to sob uncontrollably and drives catholic nuns to take solace in a case of whiskey.

He Already Took My Nuts

OMG. You'll never guess who just wandered into my office. A squirrel. No joke. Our outside doors are open to cool down the building. I was just sitting here at my work computer and saw a squirrel surry into my office, look at me with terror and scurry back out. He ran around the gallery outside my office for a bit before scooting out the back door. I desperately wanted to cuddle him, but you know how you sometimes get a vibe from someone that they aren't interested in anything but getting the hell away from you? Yeah, that's kinda the vibe I got from him. Kinda hurt my feelings. I mean have I lost my charm and good looks this early in life??

All Kinds of Excitement

In the last week I've gotten two new logo design jobs (one of which is pro-bono), a solo music gig at an upcoming street fair and a side job designing ads and misc projects at the newspaper that isn't run by the douche bag of an inebriated dog. Lots of fun new stuff going on for me. That isn't even to mention all the exciting possibilities that presented themselves this past weekend in San Francisco. Technically I guess I did just mention them, but since I'm being elusive again you can just pretend it was never brought up. Okay? Okay.

I Like to Think of it as Organic Productivity

The following is inspired by an actual conversation (which is to say that this is a completely bastardized and paraphrased quote and shouldn't be considered an actual conversation that happened anywhere but in my head):

Damon: I actually have to work today. Like, the *entire* time I'm getting paid!

Tuck: Some of us have to work all the time we're getting paid.

D: !!! Are you serious? I couldn't live with that. It's just not right.

T: Well, you're an inspiration to the rest of corporate America.

D: See. It's like I'm a martyr.

We Love Our Beans

Welcome to Tracy, CA home of the ever famous Dry Bean Festival. With such a claim to fame I'm guessing their city slogan is "Tracy: where the bay area rednecks converge."

Welcome to the Zoo

At 6:30 a.m. on June 28, a moose checked itself into the emergency room area at Alaska Regional Hospital. It walked through a motion-activated door near the emergency room and meandered down the hallway. The moose soon exited, but not before it was caught on video by a hospital security camera and a resident doctor.

Mind Your Meat

Valette: "He's never had Kielbasa sausage before?"

Damon: "Nope. I introduced it to him today."

Valette: "... this isn't a euphemism for something is it?"

Damon: "No. I'm talking about real sausage."

Valette: "What, they don't have sausage in California?"

Damon: "They do, but you have to get it on the black market."

Valette: "Like a guy on the street sells you illegal sausage?"

Damon: "..."

Valette: "Not the kind of sausage you'd normally get from a guy on the street in San Francisco mind you."

Damon: "Can we change the subject now?"

Solid Gone

And just like that, Damon fled the office for his weekend in the bay area. He didn't wish anyone a happy 4th of July nor take the time to even put on his hat. A brief thought of a Tuesday return passed through his mind as he sped out of the parking lot, but he could decide if he felt so inclined when the time came. For now, he was off on his adventure wasn't looking back.