Welcome to the Rits Carltin, the hotel of champions and their pet llamas. We hope you enjoy your stay. For your sleeping pleasure we offer you a nicely padded block of concrete with freshly fluffed pillows and nearly clean sheets. To enhance the camaraderie of our guests you will be afforded the luxury of hearing every word, throat clearing and crotch itch of our your next door neighbors. Have a secret to share? The whole wing will gladly listen. For your added enjoyment the building will sound like it's falling apart all night long and the metal walkway above you will soothe you with what will seem like the endless lullaby of small foreign vehicles crashing into the elderly. After your refreshing night of relaxation you will find the shower so mesmerizing that having to dry off with a wash cloth will be so utterly delightful that you'll adopt this highly effecient method at home. We're thrilled you've chosen to stay at the Rits Carltin. Please let us know if there is anything we can do to improve the quality of your visit. Our office hours are 11:00am to 11:01am. Have a good day!
| June 23, 2005 07:40am | 
art
random mutterings
reviews
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comment already
because there’s nothing that amuses me more than hearing your pathetic opinion
Hey, talk nice about that hotel... I bought shares in that chain... I even got green stamps with my purchase! Hey, any hotel that states, 'We'll change the sheets for you' can't be all bad, right?
Okay, I guess that wasn't the best investment I could have made... For about the same price I could have gotten a happy meal... And the stock options are better, too!
Jay | June 23, 2005 9:16AM
Jay, it's quite likely that someone has switched your regular meds with sugar pills and the rest of us are paying this practical joke.
Damon | June 23, 2005 12:33PM