November 2004

Snooze

I guess I live quite the adventurous life and love to talk about it. In an effort to come across slighty less self-centered I've been trying to talk about myself less in conversations. Of course, if my friends don't develop some more interesting lives I can't be held responsible for filling in the gaps.

Santa should shop online

I went to Anchorage this weekend and finished my Christmas shopping. The stores were insane and the parking lots were worse. Next year I really need to do all my shopping online. It'd make life so much easier.

The giving of thanks routine

amazingly rich experiences in my life
friends with whom I always stay in touch
new friends with whom I can spend the holiday
recent weight loss
an amazing mother who loves me
my relationship with God; he totally rocks
a future filled with possibilities
my blogging family who have all agreed to donate $100 to my "save the style" campaign for a new wardrobe

Savoring every word

Well, after 6+ months or more I finally made it through the book of Genesis which makes me think that perhaps my Bible reading hasn't been quite as diligent as I'd like it to be...

This is an automated reply

Due to a major increase in social schedule, I am no longer accepting applications for friends. I know this will crush many of you, but I'm sure you'll find someone else. To anyone who has an application pending, please consider this your esteem destroying rejection letter.

An evening of disappointments

First we tried to see some transvesties playing ball. They were postponed and replaced with some sappy Japanese film. Then we tried to see cartoons in tights but were crowded out. Finally we made an effort to see a hot guy sweating a lot but couldn't find him anywhere.

The wicked witch rides again

I'm getting so freakin' tired of being treated like an incompetent child at work. My boss left today for a week long trip which means she won't be here for the construction of next week's newspaper (yay us!). She was in an extremely bitchy mood this morning and was throwing around loaded guilt statements left and right. Before she left, she told me to "make sure to put a good photo on the front page."

"Okay, will do."
"Don't put anything bad or boring on the front page."

"Oooookay."

"Cause I don't want any full face shots or anything like that. I want something good. I don't want any bad shots like you guys have tried to run before."

"Um, I always choose good stuff for the front page. Everyone else agrees. You are the one that has a problem with what we choose. I can't read your mind."

"I know you can't read my mind. I don't want to argue. I just want you to put something good on the front page."

(more sarcastic, argumentative responses from me)

(her getting really annoyed and continuing to tell me to put something good on the front page)

"Yes ma'am."

(more explaining that she wants something good on the front page)

sarcasm heavy "Ok. Yes ma'am. Will do."

In the end she left really pissed off (which pleased me to no end). I'm tired of being shown such disrespect. I need to find another job. Sadly that means either taking a severe pay cut (cause McDonald's doesn't pay very much) or moving to another town. I'm not sure what I'm going to do.

Squeaky wheel

After some rather persuasive arguments (i.e. whining) some friends have ditched their Thanksgiving plans so they can spend it with me. Sounds like I'll be the cook for the event. I'm currently using some rather persuasive arguments (...) to get them to agree to a non-traditional fare. I'm thinking a Thai spread. That'd rock.

More work

I think I need to start working more than half days on Wednesdays. I barely got in all my personal surfing, chatting, bill paying and phone calls before I had to clock out...

A grand and glorious day

For the first time since I started at the newspaper, the paper was completed early. Only 30 minutes early, but early nevertheless. Our norm is to get it out 30 minutes late so we're and hour ahead of schedule. The entire day was actually fairly easy. The cause? Our lead news reporter get on the boss' case to make page 1 decisions on Monday before, it had been laid out rather than on Tuesday after it had been laid out. I've been trying to get this to happen, but every week since I started I've had to rework the front page on Tuesday morning. Today I didn't have to do any reworking. Everything just nicely built on the work I did the last week.

Getting the paper out early means getting to leave early. I don't really know what to do with myself for the rest of the afternoon though I'm sure I'll manage just fine.

Let's have a talk, shall we?

The term "camera-ready" is used when you bring me an ad that is completely and totally laid out and ready to drop into the space you've paid for in the newspaper. An ad on which you spent hours choosing a font, adding a crappy piece of clip art and finding the exact correct spacing... is not camera-ready if you expect me to lay it out again to fit the proper space. What it is is a pain in the ass. You want your 6"x4" ad to look exactly as you created it, but I'm supposed to fit that into a 1"x2" space. God forbid I don't have the font (I deleted comic sans from my machine my first day here) or crappy piece of clip art you used. I know you honestly believe that you are saving me time. If you could just take the few extra minutes it takes to use a ruler, this might be the case. As it is I'm left to plot your slow and painful demise. Now I'm a creative guy, but I've run out of options for giving you inflamed, pus-filled lesions in your genital area.

Office Memo

In our continual effort to strive for the lowest possible productivity and the absolutely highest in annoyance... all news articles and edits will be submitted to production via Etch-a-Sketch from now on. The reporter who suffers from Parkinson's disease will not be exempt from this new policy. Thank you. --The Management

The Highlight of My Weekend

At a beauty supply place in Soldotna today... "...as a hair stylist you'll get a discount... You're a stylist right?" I think I fell in love with her the moment those words were uttered. The owner assumed I was a stylist because of my appearance and the items I was purchasing. I beamed with giddy joy. I did confess that I'm a wanna-be, but nothing can take away the delight of her assumption. All in all it was an ego boosting stop. I'm sure I'd already reached my ego quotient for the year, but can you really have too much of a good thing?

Memories

I'm rapidly remembering why I don't like Homer winters. It's been raining, snowing, freezing, thawing and sleeting all week, in random order. One day there was snow covering my feet, the next day it was mud. Can't the damn weather just make up it's mind?! Oh, and the other reason I hate Homer winters: when things do freeze the roads are like well-oiled glass and since Homer's built into a mountain, nearly everything involves driving on hills with winding roads. Get back home everyday... a near death experience. Ah, the adventures of the place I live.

New and Improved?

After sitting for two hours in "model call" for the hair show... I was informed that they didn't need guys in the show. If they had told me that earlier I might have been able to see if one of the other company's participating in the show needed men. As it was I was out of luck and without a hair show. Determined to not return home plain headed, I made an appointment with a random stylist and asked her to have her way with my hair. The stylist ditched me after about 15 minutes of brainstorming because she had been double booked. The stylist to whom I was passed had to finish up her client. Once she got to me, 45 minutes after my scheduled appointment time, the brainstorming process began again. Sadly this stylist seemed to have very little opinion or suggestions. I ended up having to give her a fairly specific idea of what I wanted. She was slow in applying color and didn't talk at all. After she shampooed me, she made it clear that she didn't think the color looked very good and wanted to fix it. Back to the coloring process... The whole event took 4 hours. That's 2 hours past when I was supposed to pick up my godson for some male bonding time. The experience was far from what I had hoped, but my hair got changed and for that I'm very happy. Wanna see some pics?

keep reading...

Submissive Bottom Seeking Dominant Top to Have Your Way

I'm driving to Anchorage tomorrow to be in a hair show. I'm putting myself at the mercy of a complete stranger to cut, color and style my hair in whatever way he or she desires. I'm excited to get a fresh, new cut and to possibly try something completely different. I'm hoping they have some funky new color/cut to demonstrate on me and I'm open to literally anything. To prepare for the show I haven't cut or colored my hair since August. It's in desperate need of some attention. I'm relieved that it's finally going to get some.

The driving part should be interesting as we've been having whiteout storms the last few days. I'm going to take it slow, but after suffering through not cutting or coloring my hair for the last 2.5 months... there's no way I'm backing out of this show.

A Frickin' Wonderland

Snow. Snow and ice. Snow and ice and temperatures in the single digits.

Winter has come to Homer and it looks like it's here to stay. <sigh>