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Van Helsing

I saw Van Helsing today. It was not at all what I had expected. The opening sequence which looked exactly like an old Frankenstein flick had me waiting for the punch line. I seriously thought that we were watching some hokey ad that was gonna end with Igor offering Frankenstein's monster a Starbuck's tall double-foam latte. Nope. Instead we have the beginnings of what turned out to be a very cliche film.

All the standard cheese elements were present: boy meets girl..., the bumbling sidekick who delivers one liners, the monster who is misunderstood, "No, go on without me. Save yourselves...", and on and on it went. We even had the comic relief moment when our main character finds himself in true gonad strife as the wheel of an moving carriage threatens to run over his privates. Now that's entertainment.

On the up side... Kate Beckinsale's hair was abso-freakin'-lutely gorgeous. I wanted to be a girl just so I could have her hair. Well, that and I loooove wearing leather corsets... =>

Besides Kate's hair (she wants me to call her Kate) all the costuming and sets where actually beautiful. The movie was very impressive visually. The special effects were fairly good though how they were used was often hokey. I really enjoyed Kate's acting, but wasn't terribly impressed with Hugh Jackman or Richard Roxburgh. The story wasn't bad, but it wasn't good either. It felt like a recycled story from days gone by. Sad really. To be fair, I think this movie wasn't made for me. I have a definite angst about cliches. Those who love classic horror films may love this movie. It wasn't my thing and I left feeling very dissatisfied. I had really wanted to enjoy that movie.